are you still at the devil's house?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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