Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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