Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
