I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
