Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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