By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
