I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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