You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
