I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
