I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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