You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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