i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
