In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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