I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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