I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
