I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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