Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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