the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
