I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
