then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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