i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
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Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
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Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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