She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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