Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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