It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
