I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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