If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
