i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
