Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize