And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
