if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
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but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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