Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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