Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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