Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
