Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
