She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
