turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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