I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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