So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
my liver is dry heaving
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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