I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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