Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
