Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This baby is an asshole
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
