just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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