You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
