Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
