3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
