You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
