just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
