Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
