You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
