Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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