I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
