I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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