dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
