Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
