I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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