You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
