It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize