That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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