oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
