Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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