We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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